


Kyle Broflovski, Pussy Slayer of Bullworth [DISCONTINUED]

by aesoprock, Petey_Deserves_Better



Category: Bully (Video Games), South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Angst, Badass Kyle Broflovski, Brotherly Bonding, Bullying, Cheating, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, F/F, F/M, Gen, Harassment, Help, M/M, Moving, Multi, OOC characters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Drugs, School Uniforms, Sexual Harassment, Written For Fun, alternate universe - harem (kinda), cartman and his usual crazy plans, everybody is on kyle's dick, kind of a crack fic?, kyle's pov (3rd person), kyle-centric, no update schedule, style and kyman are main focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25398511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesoprock/pseuds/aesoprock, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petey_Deserves_Better/pseuds/Petey_Deserves_Better
Summary: After getting suspended from South Park, Cartman manages to frame Kyle for arson, bringing Kyle right back where he wants him.Little does Cartman know though, Bullworth isn't exactly the place to be.(Based on the 2006 Rockstar game Bully.)[Discontinued until further notice]
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Ike Broflovski & Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick/Red, Kyle Broflovski/Bebe Stevens, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski/Heidi Turner, Kyle Broflovski/Nichole Daniels, Kyle Broflovski/Red, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski/Wendy Testaburger, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, PC Principal/Strong Woman (South Park), Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Token Black & Kyle Broflovski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calories](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=calories).



> ok, author's note time! this is aesop, basically i just want to say that there's no update schedule to this fic and petey and i mostly wrote this for fun so if there's any inconsistencies or stupid mistakes don't worry about them. i don't really know if this counts as a crack fic or whatever but i decided to tag it like that anyway.
> 
> if you didn't read the tags, this focuses on kyman and style with a few ships on the side. i don't know if there's going to be smut/rape/death in the future so please check the ratings before every update! so far i tagged the things we've already written/decided on... but we didn't plan every chapter out so things might change. this is rated only teen and graphic violence because that's pretty canon-typical for bully.
> 
> also, if you haven't played or watched a playthrough of bully, i recommend it. it's a good game and it'll help you understand what's happening, but you don't need to play it to read this fic.

“Oh, Kyle… don’t worry about it, bubby, you’ll be okay in your new school,” Sheila dismissed, waving her hand as Kyle got out of the car. “You can always FaceTime your old friends in your new dorm!”

Kyle glared at Ike from the corner of his eye as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Whatever,” he muttered, turning around and looking at the closed gate leading to the school. Kyle knew he was only kicked out of South Park because that  _ fatass _ Eric Cartman framed him for setting something on fire in a classroom. It was so petty that Kyle wasn’t even sure  _ what  _ Cartman managed to set on fire, but in the end, he was blamed for it and permanently expelled.

He thought about it as he walked, wondering how on Earth Cartman managed to get him expelled from South Park when Cartman didn’t even  _ go there.  _ Cartman had been expelled and sent to Bullworth maybe a month earlier than Kyle had been, although for a different reason, one that Kyle couldn’t be bothered to learn. 

Kyle stared at the gate in front of him. Before he could make it there, a woman stepped in front of him. “So, I see our little arsonist has arrived. Do you need to be escorted inside? We wouldn’t want you to start anything.” Kyle rolled his eyes and looked up at the woman who was speaking to him in that stupid, condescending voice, wondering what was up her ass.

He noticed that Ike was on his phone, already disrespecting authority. Of course. “No, ma’am. I don’t need an escort,” Kyle snapped, “because I didn’t set anything on fire.” 

Mrs. Woman inhaled sharply and clenched her teeth into a smile. “You can argue with PC Principal… in his office. Don’t waste his time, he’s a very busy man dealing with hoodlums like you all day.”

_ PC Principal?  _ What kind of fucking name was that, and why did this bitch care so much if he “allegedly” set something at fire at his old school? Kyle groaned and pushed his way through the gate, watching Ike from the corner of his eye as he trailed along next to him, walking and texting at the same time. Kyle wondered who he was constantly talking to- he hated everyone at their old school, aside from those faggy goth kids he hung out with. The only name he could remember was Firkle, the one right around Ike’s age, although Kyle couldn’t see Ike talking to any of them outside of school. Unless Ike really was that lame.

In a way, Kyle was actually excited to see Eric Cartman. Maybe he would start his new life at Bullworth out on the right foot- by bashing Eric Cartman’s skull in the moment he saw him. He smiled fondly to himself at the thought, not even noticing when Ike trailed off in a different direction.

-

Kyle’s mind continued to drift as he made his way towards the principal's study, through the loud, crowded hallways filled with kids who loved to push and shove him. Before he knew it, he was sitting down in a musty velvet chair, bored. He jumped when he heard PC Principal’s authoritative voice flowing into the room. “Well, our arsonist has arrived! Isn’t that right, Mr, uh… Broflovski. You know, that’s not very PC of you, setting fire to the school’s resources when children in China are being forced to work in sweatshops...” 

He shook his head, staring up at PC Principal from where he sat. “God, can you stop calling me that?” 

The principal wasn't shocked by Kyle's attitude. “Oh, if you don't want to be called an arsonist, we could call you.. oh I don't know, vandal, maybe?” 

Kyle's eyes went wide for a moment. “Vandal? What have I vandalized?”

“Well, for one, the printer in your old classroom! Don’t play dumb with me, young man, you know exactly what you did- not cool. Tons of kids could’ve made use of that printer.” 

He stared down at the ground in frustration. “I didn't do that! I got frame-” 

Kyle had been cut off, unsurprisingly. “Oh, you got framed? Yeah right. Now… get your act together. You should, uh, keep your nose clean, you know? Maybe in this school, you could become a role model for those little kids in Africa, who, you know, don’t have anything. Now, go get in your uniform. Your dorm number is 054.”

Sullenly, Kyle stood up from the mushy chair, yanking PC Principals’ door open with such force that it flew back and knocked a picture off of his wall.  _ Good,  _ he muttered inside his head as he heard a pane of glass smash against the wall and the wooden frame crack in half.

-

The uniforms were scratchy. Stuffy. Baggy in all of the wrong places, and probably passed down to at least seven generations of Bullworth students before him, considering the stains. But Kyle was glad about one thing- he thought school uniforms were kind of hot, in a way. Most of the kids in Bullworth weren’t conventionally attractive, but it wasn’t like he was actively seeking out hot guys when he made his way to the dorms.

Still, he wanted to explore the campus before his first day of classes- which was next Monday. It was a Friday afternoon, which meant he had two and a half days to get himself “acclimated” to Bullworth’s culture. For a boarding school for “troubled youth” in New Hampshire, it was definitely fancy, and if it weren’t filled with hoodlums who shoved him and hit him in the back of the head with paper balls any time he appeared in the hallway, he could’ve actually learned to enjoy it.

Kyle spritzed some of his new cologne under his arms and on his wrists before slamming the canister down on his dresser in a sad attempt to get rid of the moldy smell the uniforms carried. He left his new dorm, absently wondering where Ike was. He hoped Ike managed to make some new friends already, only because Kyle didn’t want Ike up his own ass all the time.

As he made his way towards the dorms entrance, a familiar face appeared from around the corner. “Hey. Long time no see.. Jew.” A shit eating grin appeared across Cartman's face. 

“Fucking  _ Cartman!”  _ Kyle screeched, clenching his fists. “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to fucking kill you, and-” 

Cartman put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Calm down… friend. There’s no reason to be angry… how about I show you around skewl?” The way Cartman put an emphasis on “friend” made his blood boil. 

“I don’t need you to show me around, fatass! You’re gonna be dead before you get the chance!” he screeched, yanking Cartman’s hand off of his shoulder. Who the hell did Cartman think he was, putting his hands on him like that?

Cartman frowned. “Aw, come on… that was just a misunderstaanding, you know that Kahl. But now you’re here with me in this all new skewl! So why don’t we be friends?”

Kyle huffed and rolled his eyes. “Shut the hell up before I make you! You’re the only reason I’m in this fucking school anyway!” 

Cartman shrugged his shoulders and looked around. “Alright Kahl, listen to me. Bullworth is the toughest skewl in the state. You’re gonna need to be friends with me if you want to survive in this place,” he advised Kyle, his voice lowered. For a moment, Kyle wondered if he was being serious- but that wasn’t possible, he knew Cartman was just trying to get under his skin. “Anyway, where's Ike? Or did your mom abandon you in New Hampshire without him?” he smirked.

Kyle glanced around, looking for Ike, not seeing him anywhere. “I… actually don't know where he is.” He paused. “Do you? I swear to god, Cartman, if you did something to him, you’re dead!” 

Cartman took a step back. “Woah woah woah. I don't know where he is, buuuttt I could show you around and help you find him!”

“No,” he said sternly. “You won’t fucking help. You’ll just slow me down. I’d rather die than have you ‘help’ me. Fuck off,” Kyle hissed, turning and bursting out of the front doors, off to find his stupid missing brother. He knew he could be doing a million other things, like unpacking in his room or making friends, but he couldn’t stand being in the same area as Eric fucking Cartman. 

Kyle decided to scope out the football field.


	2. Chapter 2

“Who’s the new kid?” someone yelled from across the track. 

Kyle tensed up and turned around to see who was talking about him. It was a boy in a tight football uniform, his dark skin gleaming with sweat. “Hey,” he greeted, jogging over to Kyle. There was another football player behind him, a white guy with black hair. He smiled once Kyle noticed him.

“Uh… hi. I’m Kyle,” he said, looking the second guy up and down. Both of them were pretty hot, but the second guy was catching his eye for some reason.

The one in front smiled and extended his hand. “Hey, I’m Token. We heard a new kid was coming… you burnt down a classroom?” he asked, tilting his head and flashing a shiny white smile. 

“...No, that’s a lie,” Kyle corrected him, looking away. “I didn’t. I’m just looking for my little brother, uh, he’s also new. Have you seen him? Short, he’s… younger. Black hair.” He stared at Token and frowned, wondering why the guy behind him wasn’t speaking at all. Mute, maybe?

Token shook his head, averting his eyes and staring down at the ground. “Sorry. Haven’t seen anyone like that. Uh, this is Stan.” He motioned to the boy next to him. Stan gave Kyle a small wave and smiled.

_ He’s shy,  _ Kyle thought to himself, smiling back. “Hey, Stan. Um, well, I better go look for Ike, so I have to get going. It was nice talking to you guys, though,” he said, hoping he gave the two of them the right first impression. It looked like Token and Stan were going to be his only friends.

“Alright! I guess I’ll see you around.. Kyle.”

Kyle nodded and bit his lip, giving Token one last look before turning around and heading in the opposite direction. It was a stupid idea to “look” for Ike on the football field, but at least he met some people who weren’t complete dicks to him like everyone else in the school was turning out to be.

-

Kyle walked up the dorm stairs before coming to an abrupt stop, narrowing his eyes and gripping the railing. Someone was crying, and it sounded suspiciously like Ike.

He wasn’t sure if Ike was actually crying somewhere or Kyle was just wishfully thinking, but he decided to look anyway. Descending the stairs, he turned the corner and stood in the hallway, hesitating. What if Ike wasn’t there and he was making himself look like an idiot? It didn’t matter- people didn’t like him already, and he needed to find his little brother.

“Ike,” Kyle spoke, wildly turning around and hoping to see one of the dark wooden doors open with Ike standing behind it. None of the doors opened. “ _ Ike!”  _ he screamed, clenching his fists. Maybe he wasn’t crying after all.

A door opened somewhere behind him. Kyle whipped around to find Ike standing there, his eyelids rimmed with tears. “Hi,” he whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“ _ Ike,”  _ Kyle repeated, frowning and moving inside his little brother’s dorm, closing the door. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Shaking his head, Ike sat down on his bed and wiped his eyes again. “I’m fine. I… just  _ hate  _ this school. It sucks.”

Kyle could relate to that, but he wasn’t at the point of crying like Ike was. “Can you please tell me what happened?” 

Ike inhaled quickly. “I was trying to find my dorm room and this kid and all of his friends jumped me. They told me that I better watch out… or whatever.”

“Bullshit. That’s total bullshit. How old were they?”

“...Your age, I think.”

Kyle put his head in his hands, knowing he would have to deal with these guys. “That’s bullshit,” he repeated. “And none of the teachers said anything about it? You’re only in fucking seventh grade! They shouldn’t be able to do that!”

Shrugging, Ike wiped his eyes once again and crossed his legs. “They did.”

“Tell me what they looked like,” Kyle demanded. He was ready to beat Eric Cartman and whoever these guys were into a meaty pulp if he had to- he’d already been suspended from one school, which meant his chances at Harvard were ruined. Getting suspended from another school wouldn’t hurt his record anymore.

“Oh, uh… the main one had blond spikey hair… he was strong. I can't really remember what the rest looked like though. They didn’t have… uniforms? Well, I guess they did, but… no vests? I don’t know. It was weird.” 

Kyle exhaled angrily. “Alright, are you feeling better? You don't need me to take you to the nurse or anything, right?” 

Ike hesitated before replying. “No, I’m okay.” Kyle leaned in and gave his brother a quick hug before standing up. As he left the room, he thought about everyone who was already on his shitlist. Maybe Cartman was right- he needed friends in this school. Just not someone like him.

He found a short, skimpish looking kid near the entrance to the dorms and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey. Kid.”

The boy turned around quickly, staring up at Kyle with obvious fear in his eyes. “What?” he asked with a slight lisp.

“...There was a guy, blond, spiky hair, kinda muscular around here recently. Do you know where he went? White shirt.” Kyle hoped this would work.

He nodded. “That’s Trent Boyett. He should be out near the pharking lot right now, that’s where… those guys hang out.” The kid paused, blinking at Kyle. “You’re new? My name is Scott Malkinson, um, I have a lisp because I have diabe-”

Kyle pushed past him, opening the door and letting it slam behind him. He made his way to the parking lot, determined to chew out this stupid Trent Boyett guy. As soon as he got outside into the humid, musty air that was  _ definitely  _ going to make his hair frizz up, he was approached by a black girl in a cheerleading outfit. “Hey,” she smiled, putting a hand on his arm. “I heard you were one of the new kids? You and your little brother?”

“...I’m busy,” he said, shrugging her hand off of his shoulder and speed walking to the parking lot. Why did everybody care that he was new? The whole school was like some kind of cult, with Cartman in the center. Or maybe Bullworth was like that before Cartman arrived.

It didn’t matter. He had a different teenage boy with a fragile ego to deal with, and by the sound of it, he was strong- and had another group of boys backing him up. This was probably going to end one of two ways: one, Kyle could get his ass beat and be the laughing stock of Bullworth for the next month, or two, this Trent Boyett kid actually ended up listening to him somehow. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, but he wasn’t going to let Trent get away with hurting Ike. So in the end, he had no choice.

Kyle spotted a guy that fit the description Ike gave him and walked up to him, yanking the guy by the forearm and gritting his teeth together with no hesitation. If he was going to do this, he had to be confident about it. “Hey, asshole,” he said. Trent Boyett happened to be shorter than him. Kyle decided to use that as an advantage- maybe it would be a good intimidation factor. “Next time you wanna fucking jump someone, make sure they aren’t in fucking  _ seventh grade,  _ pussy. I get the fact that you’re too scared to pick on someone that might be able to get a hit on you, but-”

“Why do you care?” Trent asked, staring up at Kyle and narrowing his eyes. “That your boyfriend?”

“No!” he said, his face growing red with anger. “That’s my little brother, you cunt! If you touch him again, I’m gonna fucking rip your teeth out and gut you! So back off!”

Trent shrugged. “Whatever.”

“ _ Not  _ whatever! You better watch your back, you piece of shit!”

The guys surrounding Trent started to move in closer to Kyle. Kyle stared at them, trying not to look intimidated. “What, you guys side with him? All of you are pussies. Every one of you. Beating the shit out of me isn’t going to prove anything- there’s seven of you and one of me. So what?”

The rest of the group glanced over to Trent, almost as if they needed his instruction on what to do next. Trent sighed and decided to speak up. “Big talk for someone without a clique. I dont give a fuck about you or your brother. You’re new, and this is what happens.” 

_ Clique?  _ What was this guy talking about? They weren’t in a 2000’s fucking rom-com set in high school, there were no goddamn cliques! Kyle’s blood began to boil. “I’m not fucking scared of any of you! You can’t go around jumping seventh graders, you hear me?”

The group looked to Trent once more, waiting for him to make a move. But before anything could escalate, the cheerleader that tried talking to Kyle earlier stood next to him. She’d obviously had enough of their bullshit, and she was going to make it clear. “God, can you all be quiet? Kyle is right- jumping a seventh grader isn’t cool.”

“How do you know my name?” Kyle asked, narrowing his eyes at her. He didn’t even know  _ her  _ name, and it wasn’t like anyone besides Cartman, Ike, and maybe Stan and Token knew his own name. Did word really get out that fast?

The girl shrugged. Trent Boyett and his gang went eerily silent ever since she stepped in. Kyle wondered why that was. He turned back to look at Trent. “Oh, you’ll listen to a girl, but not me? Okay. Remember to watch your goddamn back,  _ Trent,”  _ he hissed.

Trent narrowed his eyes, but still refused to comment. He backed away from Kyle and went back to playing basketball with his buddies, leaving Kyle and the cheerleader girl alone.

“So… I’m Nichole. It’s nice to meet you,” she smiled, extending an arm.

Kyle felt a little guilty for ignoring her earlier, but at least the Trent Boyett situation was out of the way… for now. He had a feeling that messing with those guys on his first day was going to bite him in the ass. “Uh, hi Nichole,” he said sheepishly, shaking her hand. “Sorry. I just have a lot going on.”

“...Yeah, I can tell. No worries. So, probably a bad decision messing with the bullies on your first day, but you handled it well, I think,” Nichole said soothingly, letting go of Kyle’s hand. 

Were cliques an actual thing in this school? “The ‘bullies’?” Kyle asked, wondering if that was an unofficial name for all of the assholes in Bullworth.

She tilted her head. “You haven’t heard? Okay- so there’s the greasers, the bullies, the nerds, the preps, um… the non-clique kids- that would be you- and the jocks. I guess I’m a jock. The whole thing is pretty stupid, isn’t it?” Nichole smiled. “Well… the non-cliques have the lowest social status, so you should probably join a clique soon. People might actually start listening to you.”

Kyle was honestly surprised that cliques were a real thing here. He knew that it would be a rather structured place, but cliques?  _ Damn, this school is stuck in the 50’s or something. Really? Greasers? _ He blinked a few times, making eye contact with Nichole. “Uh yeah, thanks for the tip. I should probably head out, though. Don’t need to run into those guys again.”

“Okay! But could I get your number before you go?” she suggested, smiling kindly. 

Kyle smiled back at her, glad that he found someone who actually wanted to talk to him at this school. “Uh, yeah- sure!” After he spoke, she grabbed a pack of Post-it notes and a pen from her pocket, almost as if she were prepared for encounters like this. She handed both to Kyle, watching him like a hawk as he scribbled down his number.

“Thanks!” she said cheerfully. “I’ll be sure to text you later. I’ll see you around, Kyle!” Nichole turned around after waving goodbye. 

“Uhm, yeah! I’ll talk to you later!’ Kyle turned around and grinned to himself. A cute girl asked for his number, almost completely unprompted. The guys were definitely assholes at this school, with the exception of a few jocks, but maybe he would have an easier time finding a girlfriend here than he would back in South Park.


	3. Chapter 3

“...H-Hey, can I come in?” someone said from the other side of the door.   
Kyle groaned and got up from his desk. He’d been busy scrubbing down his new dorm room for the last thirty minutes, after discovering his bedside table was covered in a thick sheet of dust. There was no way Kyle was sleeping in a disgusting room like that, so he stole some surface cleaner from the bathroom and started frantically wiping down every flat surface he could find, and had finally progressed to his desk when someone knocked on his stupid door. The next step was sweeping and mopping the floor.

He unlocked the door and pulled back on the doorknob. “What?” Kyle snapped, coming face-to-face with a short, innocent-looking blond boy with a perfectly clear face.  _ Lucky,  _ Kyle muttered to himself, thinking of his own acne-riddled face.

“H-Hey, fella, I heard you were new to Bullworth!” the boy greeted, giving him a huge smile. “I figured you might be lonely on your first day, so… I came to introduce myself!”

Kyle glared down at the boy in front of him. He was wearing a teal vest like Kyle was, but instead of a white shirt, he was wearing a pink, puffy undershirt. Kyle wondered if he was gay- he somehow managed to dress that way despite the fact that they were required to wear uniforms. “Okay. Cool.” Kyle was tempted to slam the door in his face, but having numbers on his side might be helpful, especially after pissing those guys off in the parking lot earlier. Even if they were total wimps like this kid.

“I heard about you from Eric! He talked about you a lot… sounds like you two are good friends!” he said enthusiastically. “Well, I’m Butters! Head boy, and student mascot!” Kyle had to force himself to not roll his eyes.  _ Cartman fucking  _ talked  _ about me? And head boy? What kind of lame bullshit is that?  _ Kyle snapped out of his train of thought.

“Cool. How do you know him, exactly?..” While Butters seemed pretty nice, a little oblivious, but nice, Kyle had to be suspicious of anyone hanging around that fatass.

He narrowed his eyes down at the boy. How was Kyle supposed to know Cartman wasn’t sending Butters in to receive some type of information from him? Not that he had any valuable information, but the whole thing just seemed.. out of place. “Oh, I showed him around the school on his first day!” Kyle was surprised. Cartman, accepting help from someone like Butters, of all people? Was he up to something? Kyle didn't have the time to worry about it right now. 

“Oh. Well that was nice of you. I don’t wanna rush you out but I have to uh..” Kyle quickly ran through different excuses. “..call my mom. Nice, uh, meeting you, though.” 

Butters nodded and smiled. “That’s okay! Here.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked like a… business card?!  _ This kid really has a business card, with his name and “head boy” printed under it? With his fucking email and phone number? Holy shit. This kid is so out of touch.  _ Butters handed it to Kyle. “Text me if you ever need anything or want to hang out sometime! I have Barbies in my room, in case you ever want to come over and play! …Oh, Eric told me not to say th… well, bye, Kyle!”

Kyle forced a smile and nodded, grabbing the card. “Sure. Okay, see you Butters!” he said with forced enthusiasm. Once Butters was out of sight, he groaned and slammed the door shut, letting the business card drop onto his bedside table. He definitely met some… interesting  _ characters  _ today, but his favorite by far was that Nichole girl. She was pretty cute, and actually seemed into him. Plus, that Token guy was nice. Attractive enough to be intimidating, though. And somehow, he was…  _ too  _ nice. Still, Kyle would rather depend on Token than someone like Cartman.

He plopped down on his bed and dug his phone out of his khakis, checking for any texts from Nichole. Nothing.  _ Ugh,  _ he thought, taking the business card and adding Butters’ name as a contact.  _ Bet she just asked for my number to get me excited. For real. I bet she does that to everyone to get them to like her.  _ Kyle smiled to himself.  _ Well, that’s pretty smart.. she’s a player. _

Suddenly, there was another knock on his door. Fucking seriously?

Kyle reluctantly stood up and opened the door, looking down to see Ike. “Oh, hey, everything alright?” Kyle didn't know how he would deal with more news of Ike getting hurt or bullied. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. I just wanted to come say goodnight and stuff..” 

He grinned, he thought it was cute that Ike still came to say goodnight- but he didn’t blame him. It was probably scary being in an all new boarding school without his parents or any friends to rely on. “Oh. Goodnight, hey… if you’re lonely, you know you can sleep in here, right? Just for the first few nights.” 

Ike yawned, stretching his arms out as he did so. “No, no, it’s okay. And yeah... goodnight. Also, Cartman talked to me earlier. He was acting.. weird. Did something happen?”

“Weird? What do you mean weird, what did he say?” 

He shrugged before responding. “Nothing in particular, he asked me how I’ve been, and then asked if I liked it here. But when I told him that it wasn’t the best he started asking… questions about, um… I don’t know how to explain it. He asked if I wanted to help him… overthrow the school or something? I don’t get why you’re friends with him. He’s fucking crazy.” Then Ike grinned, as if Cartman was joking and didn’t have actual plans to overthrow the Bullworth social hierarchy.

Kyle raised an eyebrow in thought.  _ Taking over the school. Why am I not surprised?  _ “Uh, that’s fucking weird. Yeah, he’s crazy- but what makes you think Cartman and I are friends? Do you think I wanted him to come to all of my sleepovers in South Park? He’s a Nazi. I’m not that stupid.”

“Yeah, I guess I get that. I’m just gonna stay away from him at this point.” 

He smiled. “It’s for the best, let me know if he tries to pull anymore shit, alright?” Kyle hesitated, wondering if he should tell Ike about the things he said to set Trent straight, but decided against it. Ike would get too cocky if he knew Trent was off of his ass for the time being.

Ike yawned again. “I’ll let you know. Goodnight.” 

Kyle gave him a brief hug. “Yeah, ‘night  _ Moisha, _ ” Kyle teased, knowing Ike hated whenever he used his middle name.

Smiling, Ike let go of the hug and made his way down the hallway, turning the corner and disappearing from Kyle’s line of sight. He smiled when Ike left- it was good to know that Ike would learn to start depending on him if he needed it. Sometimes he hated Ike’s guts, but… this was definitely going to bring them closer. Even if Bullworth sucked hot ass so far, there was a silver lining, huh?

A voice from down the hallway made Kyle jump. “So, that’s your little brother?”

He turned to look at the guy who spoke. It was Stan, the boy from earlier who he met on the football field. “Oh- yeah! That’s him,” Kyle grinned, putting his hands in his pockets. “You like listening to people’s conversations?”

“...Sorry. But you two are sweet, I wish I had that kind of bond with my older sister,” he smiled, leaving the doorway to his own dorm room and stepping into the hallway, moving closer to Kyle. “I know I didn’t talk a lot earlier- you know. Down at the football field… but I thought you looked nice. So, hey.”

Kyle couldn’t think of anything to say, so instead he just grinned stupidly and stared into Stan’s eyes. Stan was the same height as him- which made sense, he was a popular jock and all- but he was a lot more muscular. “...Hi,” he managed to get out, still smiling like an idiot.

“Yeah. Hey.”

_ Fuck, I made this awkward… am I really this stupid? And why am I in such high demand today?  _ “I kinda don’t know what to say, I’m sorry. But hey- I’m better at texting,” Kyle smiled wider, hoping he was being smooth. “So… you want to give me your number?”

“Sure,” Stan said, actually  _ laughing  _ at Kyle’s sad attempt to flirt with him. 

“Okay, okay,” he said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and opening iMessage. “I’m ready.”

Stan gave him his number, and Kyle sent a text to confirm he had the right one. He smiled when he heard Stan’s phone buzz back inside his bedroom.  _ He didn’t give me a fake one. God, what if he actually likes me? Holy shit. _

“Looks like you got my number right. Oh yeah- I heard about that thing that happened with you and Trent Boyett. You got some balls, huh? Don’t worry- pretty much everyone thinks he’s a dick,” Stan teased. “I’ll talk to you soon, Kyle.”

He found himself worrying about his decision to stand up to Trent again. Did he make a bad choice? Was Trent going to get him back later, somehow? But he pushed the thought away for now- if he started worrying about it, he wouldn’t be able to get any sleep. “Yeah- you too,” he said, still smiling. Kyle slipped back into his bedroom and shut the door.

He plopped back down on his bed, holding his phone loosely between his fingers. God, Stan was hot. And so was Nichole. And he had  _ both  _ of their numbers.

Kyle turned on his side, his mind wandering back to Cartman. Whatever his plan was, it would fail. For sure.

That’s what he kept telling himself as he pulled his covers over himself and turned off the lamp on his bedside table. Cartman’s plan to take over Bullworth would fail, just like every other plan he tried to execute before. There was no way it could work.

No way.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey, Kyle!” Butters cheered from outside the entrance. “How didya sleep?”

Butters  _ really  _ wouldn’t leave Kyle alone, would he? “I slept fine. Hey… what’s, um… since there’s cliques, I was wondering if… you know where the ‘preps’ are?” Kyle asked, deciding to cut to the chase. He knew where the bullies and jocks hung out, but hadn’t met the preps. He wasn’t all that thrilled at the idea of meeting any group that called themselves the “nerds” or “greasers,” so the preps were his next best choice.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, his eyes brightening with excitement. “They’re over in the Harrington House! You want me to show you?” Butters asked, starting to descend the stairs.

Kyle would rather  _ die  _ than walk around school with someone as lame as Butters. “No. Sorry… I need to talk to someone in there, it’s important.” A lie… whatever, it didn’t matter. Butters would probably believe anything he said at this point.

Butters nodded slowly. “Ohhh… I see. Well, don’t cause any trouble in there,” he whispered, going back up the stairs with a frown.

What the fuck was wrong with that kid?

Kyle walked across the pavement, wondering where on earth the “Harrington House” was. Before he could decide what direction to start looking in, Trent Boyett put a hand on his shoulder.

_ God, this again?  _ “What?” Kyle snapped, making eye contact with Trent. Trent was alone now, which either meant a one-on-one beating or a threat.

“...Chill, I’m not gonna hurt you. Look. I just want to say that you have some grit standing up to me like that. I wouldn’t wanna fight you. So… you wanna join us?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. 

_ He’s seriously scared of me? I haven’t even hurt him!  _ If only Cartman would be this scared of him, maybe he would be taken seriously. 

Kyle considered his options. He was clique-less right now, which meant he was vulnerable. But did he really want to side with the guys that beat on his little brother? Plus- there were way better cliques to be in, like… he could be with the jocks. He already had three friends in the jock clique, and two potential lovers.

Kyle was going to check out the preps now anyways, and it was only his second day at Bullworth, so he wanted to go through his options carefully. But he couldnt fuck this up- if Trent respected him and sided with him, it could work to his advantage. He thought for a moment on what to say, and that's when he got a good idea.

“If you let my little brother join you and stop beating on him, I’ll think about it.” Kyle held back a sly grin. He wasn’t going to join the bullies whether Ike got let in or not, but he wanted Ike to have a safety net to fall back on if something went wrong and Kyle himself wasn’t there to handle the situation.

Trent glanced from side to side, then sighing before responding. “Alright. He can join us. Let him know to meet us in the school parking lot.”

“Swear you won't beat on him again, ever?”

“On god,” Trent responded with a small nod. 

He narrowed his eyes and nodded back. “Cool. If you do anything to him, I will hear about it.” Kyle began walking again, pretending like he knew where he was going. 

He looked around, trying to see if there were any signs pointing to the Harrington House. Eventually he came to the conclusion that he would just have to ask someone, but he needed to choose wisely. He already risked fucking up the entire school year by messing with the bullies- Kyle didn’t need to start talking to anybody more controversial than Trent. He got lucky once, but he knew it wouldn’t happen again. His luck could only go so far.

He set eyes on a girl with black hair and pale skin. He studied her from the corner of his eye, trying to figure out what clique she was a part of. Then he noticed her green vest- a color he hadn’t seen many people wearing before.  _ A nerd, maybe? Nerds are supposed to be harmless. _

He walked up to her, trying to look approachable. “Uh, hey, could you tell me where uh- the Harrington House is?” 

She smiled and gave him a small nod. “Sure! Go down that path and take a left by the fountain.” The girl pointed at an old, crumbling statue. 

Kyle nodded back at her. “Thank you. My name is Kyle, by the way, I’m new.”

She held out her hand, and Kyle shook it respectfully. “My name's Wendy. It's nice to meet you. Uh.. would you mind if I got your number? You’re new, so, maybe I could help you out a bit by telling you about the school,” she offered.

Kyle grinned.  _ Wow. The girls here actually seem to like me!  _ “Of course! Uh...”

Watching as she pulled out her phone, he gave her his number and felt a pang in his chest when his phone vibrated in his back pocket.  _ She actually wants to talk to me… wow. _

“Thanks! I’ll text you later. Bye, Kyle.” She turned around and walked in the opposite direction. 

“Yeah! See you around.” Kyle responded. He began walking towards the old decaying fountain.

When he looked closer, he saw a small circle of various students, all wearing the same light blue patterned sweater. They all looked very put together, and Kyle was a bit apprehensive. He didn’t know how they would react to someone in the standard, crusty school uniform approaching them.

One of them turned around- a black student. And then he recognized him. “Oh, hey! Didn’t expect to see you here. You need something?”

It was Token, wearing one of the prep uniforms. “Uh… aren’t you a jock? Sorry, I- you were playing football when we first met, I kinda assumed...” Kyle trailed off.

“Yeah. Well, I’m in two cliques. I started out as a prep, but I’m pretty good at football, so… uh, did you need something?”

“Honestly, I’ve just been looking at all the cliques, thinking about joining one. A lot of people have encouraged me to get in one soon, and I just… don’t know. ” 

Token nodded and smiled. “I don’t think this is the place for you. I’d be glad to introduce you to the rest of the jocks, though! As long as you can play a sport,” he offered, flashing his bright white teeth again. 

Before Kyle could get anything out, two other guys appeared behind him. “Who’s this?”

“Oh. Craig, this is Kyle. Kyle, Craig.” Token turned to look at the second guy. “And this is Clyde. Clyde is the prep clique leader, but… he doesn’t actually do much,” Token teased, receiving a punch in the arm from Clyde.

“Shut up,” Clyde muttered, crossing his arms. “Your family rich?” he asked Kyle.

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “No?”

“Sucks for you,” Clyde shrugged. Kyle would’ve expressed his confusion, but he didn’t need to get in any fights, so he shot Token a look instead.

“Uh..” Token glanced at Clyde. “It’s just that you have to have a pretty significant amount of money to hang with us. Nothing against you but it's just what we do..” A sort of awkward silence came over the group for a few seconds, before Clyde spoke up. 

“What he’s trying to say is the fact that we don't associate with poor scum. Judging by the fact that your parents can’t even be bothered to buy you clean undershirts for your uniform, you wouldn’t do very well here.”

The guy named Craig stepped in. “Well, he is pretty cute. Maybe he could be our pet.” His voice was low, yet nasally. 

Kyle cringed at the idea of being anyone’s pet. “What? No.”

“...Craig’s gay,” Token admitted. “He just wants a boyfriend.”

Craig glared at him. “Shut up.”

“Well, anyway, Kyle… the thing is, the prep clique is out of the question.” Token put an arm around Kyle’s shoulders, guiding him away from Clyde and Craig. “Although, Craig and Clyde have exceptions for their close friends. Jimmy Valmer, for example. He’s not exactly made of money, but Clyde’s dad makes donations in Jimmy’s dad’s name to make it look like he’s rich so he can join. Make sense?”

Kyle was glad to know that preps were out of the question. Aside from Token, they seemed pretty snobby and stuck up. “Yeah. Makes sense.”

“Cool. Well, I know what would be your exception- if you were to date Craig, Craig’s dad would make donations to the school in your father’s name so you could join, but you don’t seem all that interested in him, huh?” Token explained, now smiling again. “Yeah. As I was saying before, though- you play any sports? You seem like a baseball kind of guy.”

“Who’s this?” a short, stocky blonde girl asked. She was also wearing the Aquaberry uniform like the other preps, but something told Kyle that she was… different from them.

Token turned to look at her. “This is Kyle. He’s new, trying to get the lay of the land. Well, anyway. I think it’s time for Kyle to get going now.”

The girl frowned, taking a step closer to Kyle. “Is he single?”

_ Every girl likes me here so far?  _ Kyle thought, his lips parting slightly as he wondered if this was some sort of trick or ploy that Cartman had set up. But that wasn’t possible- Cartman wasn’t  _ that  _ smart. Manipulative, sure, but…

And if he had orchestrated this whole thing, why? What effect would girls pretending to like him have?

“Bebe! You can’t ask stuff like that,” Token warned, glaring at her.

Kyle stood up straighter. “What? Why can’t she?”

“Her family doesn’t really like… dating outside of the… bloodline,” he tried to explain, staring at Kyle with a pensive look on his face. “They’ve already arranged for her to marry Clyde when she graduates.”

_ Arranged marriage? Cartman put me in hell, and now I can’t even leave. “ _ So Clyde is your…?”

Bebe huffed. “Second cousin.” Kyle must’ve had a really bad look on his face, because she put her hands on her hips. “Yeah, I know! But second cousins are legal here! I think they’re legal everywhere, actually.”

Kyle shook his head, looking up at Token. “Uh, okay.”

“...Yeah, anyway, Kyle and I are supposed to be getting to the baseball field here soon, he’s doing… tryouts.” A good way to get away from the rest of the preps, but part of Kyle wanted to stay and talk to Bebe. Sure, the arranged marriage thing was weird, but that wasn’t exactly her fault- it was her parents. She didn’t seem all too thrilled at the idea of marrying Clyde either.

But he did need to get in a clique, and soon, if what everyone was saying turned out to be true. “Yeah. Okay, I’m gonna head over there- I’ll see you, Token?” Kyle asked, starting to walk away and turning his head over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll see you there! Make sure you get warmed up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, this is being discontinued for the time being. just letting you know


End file.
